Some background on one of the nation’s top stories – New York Mets second baseman, Daniel Murphy, skipped out on the team’s season opener against the Washington Nationals to be with his wife while she gave birth to their first child.  Now he’s catching some flack.  Deservedly.

Who does this guy think he is?  Taking days – maybe even weeks – at a time to be with his wife?  Because she gave birth?  To his child?  In one of nature’s most amazing miracles?  Get out of town with that nonsense.

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Close to the situation in New York, WFAN’s Boomer and Carton and Mike Francesa took to their respective talk radio airwaves to voice their displeasure.

Perhaps the most pragmatic approach of the situation came from Craig Carton who asserted, “…24 hours.  You stay there.  The baby’s good.  You have a good support system for the mom and the baby.  You get your ass back to your team and you play baseball.”

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At one point it sounded as though Carton said, “Paternity leave ruins America.”  Turns out he was asking what the paternity leave rule was in America.  But, isn’t that the truth anyway?  I mean, seriously.  Baseball is ‘America’s Favorite Pastime’.  Not ‘Your Favorite Pastime’.  Not ‘That-Guy-Over-There’s Favorite Pastime’.  Not ‘Daniel Murphy’s Favorite Pastime’.  News flash, bud – it’s not about you.  It’s about us.

There’s no ‘i’ in ‘team’ for a reason.  We all learn that at a young age.  So, when you (Daniel Murphy) take it upon yourself, as a member of a team, to leave said team for an undisclosed amount of time (thank God, there’s a limit at two weeks) – well that’s just freakin’ selfish.

Former NFL quarterback, Boomer Esiason, weighed in saying, “That’s not me.  I wouldn’t do that… C-section before the season starts.  I need to be at Opening Day.”

Now THAT, ladies and gentleman, is a true American mentality.  Cut that woman open, get the baby outta there and let’s get on with the regular season!

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Meanwhile, Mike Francesa was doing damage-control throughout his show in an attempt to explain Murphy’s blatant disregard for the American people.  But a call from Larry in Flemington really put the whole thing in perspective, “What is a ‘maternity leave’ for a baseball player, Mike?  I never heard of something so ludicrous in my life!”

Larry later disclosed he’s confused about the difference between ‘maternity’ and ‘paternity’ and also said the second most ludicrous thing he’s heard in his life would be the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

Francesa was rendered rather speechless saying, “I, frankly, don’t get it.  I’ll be honest with you.  Don’t get it.”

Thankfully, Francesa has a degree in communications and athletic administration, so he did his best to explain the situation from an OBGYN perspective:

It started with natural childbirth, is where it started.  Because it started being, in the old days, guys weren’t present.  You know, they were in the waiting room when [their wives] had birth.  Then they went to this natural childbirth stuff, so the guys were part of it.  So they were in the room and they were there and everything.  Now they needed to be there because they were part of it. (Listen to the whole thing here)

He makes it clear he has no problem with being present while one’s child is being birthed, but adds, “I mean, I don’t know why you need three days off.”

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I don’t either, Mike, I don’t either.

Perhaps it’s one thing to witness the actual act of childbirth.  Sure, fine.  But all the subsequent days?  Come on.  That kid’s not going to remember you being around for much of their life, let alone the first three days.  However, you, Daniel Murphy, will always remember missing a couple games in 2014 against the Washington Nationals.  You will have to deal with that for the rest of your life.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say maybe it’s time for the MLB to place stricter regulation around player’s conjugal visits with their wives.  Maybe there needs to be a clause in every contract that states you will not be permitted to conceive a child while under the employment of the MLB.

If the MLB is looking for a model to emulate on the subject, they need look no further than China.  I mean, that country has their faults, but let’s be real – they get sh*t done.

Not.

[Today]