No one Cares about Your NCAA Tournament Bracket

No one cares about your 2014 NCAA Tournament bracket, just like no one cared about your 2013 bracket.

No one cares that you’re picking zero, all, one, two, or three No. 1 seeds to reach North Texas and no one cares if you’re picking Oklahoma State to win the egg.

No one cares if your Final Four is the same as Bracketologist Joe Lunardi or is mathematically calculated with a 99.9% chance to follow the mathematical formula established by expert mathematicians that studied mathematical formulas.


Bingo. Stick to B-I-N-G-O.

You have no clue if Saint Louis is finally going to win a tourney game or Dougie McBuckets will add more to this legacy than a bunch of stupid scoring records that only Blue Jay fans care about.doug-mcdermott

No one cares if you pick Creighton to lose to the Ragin’ Caguns or have them cutting down the nets. No one cares that the USA Today told you Creighton has the second highest mathematical chance to win the title.

Michigan State is primed for a tournament run. Oh, they are?

Just like Mizzou two years back, Iowa in 2006, or how about Syracuse in ’91? I can go all day.

No one cares if you pick every single game correctly in the 2nd round of the NCAA Tournament’s South Region section in Saint Louis. Same goes for picking a sub-.500 team to beat the Shockers.

I don’t even care if you pick Kentucky to beat that sub-.500 team just because you think Ashley Judd is a babe. Or pegging KU for all the Paul Rudd-obsessed ladies out there.

It’s all luck. Gordon Hayward ran out of it, while Mario Chalmers so eloquently gordon-hayward-galleryfound it.

No one cares if you knew Butler was primed for back-to-back Final Four runs…because frankly you’re a degenerate liar.

I care about my bracket. Not yours or your oblivious 78-year-old grandmother’s bracket, a grandmother who doesn’t know the difference between a basketball and pantyhose.

No one cares about your bracket…unless you win the billion. Then that’s just good TV.