A God Damn American Hero Has Eaten Pizza For Every Meal Over The Last Quarter-Century


You’ve probably never heard of Dan Janssen, but the 38-year old Maryland seems to have life pretty figured out and embodies everything that is right about America.

In a recent feature in The Baltimore Sun, Janssen says that he has eaten pizza for nearly every meal for about 25 years. And not that gross, tainted vegetable pizza either…cheese.

Plain cheese pizza for breakfast, plain cheese pizza for lunch, plain cheese pizza for dinner. Rinse, rather, repeat for 25 god damn beautiful years.

He says he occasionally throws in a bowl of Raisin Bran once a week “if I want to be healthy, but usually it’s just pizza and coffee.”

After a short stint as a vegetarian when he was younger, Janssen saw the light and committed to a full-on pizza diet.

“Nothing to me tastes as good as pizza. Why should I eat a carrot when I can eat pizza?”

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Now, Janssen estimates that he eats two 14-inch pizzas a day…which is pretty damn impressive, especially considering he’s still in fairly good health. He was diagnosed with diabetes (it runs in his family) around the time he started his pizza diet, but his bloodwork has never been an issue and keeps active by going for 30 or 40-mile bike rides. We’re assuming he celebrates those by eating pizza.

Janssen’s fiance is slowly convincing him to try new things and switch up his diet. Once in a while, he’ll really let himself go:

“I remember about four years ago I ate a peach and it was amazing. I just never think to do things like that.”

New foods or not, this is a guy who has had a damn impressive one and should be an inspiration to us all.

“If I could say anything to the men of the world, it’s you can do it,” Janssen said. “You can eat two 14-inch pizzas a day and be fine.”

This one’s for you, Dan Janssen.

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