10-Year-Old Steals Car, Crashes Car, Tells Cops He’s A Dwarf

In this episode of “Kids Say The Darndest Bullsh*t Lies To Get Out Of Trouble,” we take you to Oslo, Norway where a ten-year-old devised the best excuse to get out of going to jail. Early on Wednesday, a ten-year-old boy was missing his grandparents and wanted to go visit them, but his parents were sleeping. No parents, no problem. The boy packed up the truck, including his 18-month-old sister and began his 68 mile snowy trek. Amazingly the novice driver made it five miles on the snowy roads before crashing into a ditch. A passing snowplow found the young driver and this questioned the boy to which he said the following amazingly creative lie, “The boy told the snowplow driver that he was a dwarf and that he had forgotten his driver’s license at home,” said Baard Christiansen, a spokesman for the Vest Oppland police district. While it is original, it is flawed on many levels. One, he should learn the terminology, dwarfs are not even people, they’re based from fantasy and mythology. Second, the term “dwarf” is highly offensive to little people. Thirdly, forgetting your license is no excuse from receiving a traffic violation. Thankfully the children were not injured in the crash, there was no damage to the car and no charges were filed. Damn it feels good to be a 10-year-old gangsta.