In ‘This Is So Stupid News,’ There’s Something Called ‘Yeezianity,’ A Religion Based On Kanye West

“Yo, Buddha, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but Yeezianity is one of the best religions of all-time!”

Is Kanye a rap god? An anonymous group of people who created an entire religion around the outlandish rapper seems to think so. The followers of Kanye have created “Yeezianity,” a religion based on the “teachings” of Kanye West. If you think that this is just a joke, well you are dead wrong. These are devoted followers of Kanye and have even put up a website.

The religion has five pillars:

1. All things created must be for the good of all
2. No human being’s right to express themselves must ever be repressed
3. Money is unnecessary except as a means of exchange
4. Man possesses the power to create everything he wants and needs
5. All human suffering exists to stimulate the creative powers of Man

The Kanye disciples (Yeezites?) describe themselves as such:

We are an anonymous group who believes that the one who calls himself Yeezus is the highest level living human being and he will help to usher in a New Age of humanity.

We believe that the days where mankind must trade his labor for money in order to buy the things he needs is coming to an end.

We believe that a New Age is beginning where all people will unlock their creative powers and the competitive struggle for money and power will no longer be necessary.

Yeezus Christ this is already getting ridiculous! Their “god” charged his fans $120 for a plain white t-shirt, so I don’t think they should devalue money since their god definitely did not.

Well let’s examine some of the teachings of the great Kanye:

“I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.”

“I’m like a tree, I feed the branches of the people.”

“I like porn.”

“Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph.”

“I lose my religion every time I step in a club. I can’t help myself.”

“God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”

Yea so good luck on that Kanye West religion thing you got going on there. I’m just gonna go watch sports to bide my time, but honestly good luck with that.