PimpFrom the Frivolous Lawsuit department, we have an accused Portland (Ore.) pimp who is suing Nike for $100 million because the shoe manufacturer failed to provide warning labels on a pair of Jordan shoes he was wearing when he stomped out two people in 2012. Twenty-six-year-old Sirgiorgiro Clardy is currently on trial for the beating one of his prostitutes in June 2012, in addition to stomping out a john who failed to pay for said prostitute’s services. If convicted, Clardy faces up to 100 years in prison.

However, Clardy’s lawsuit — a three-page, hand-written complaint delivered from Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution in Pendleton — argues that Nike should be held liable for not warning him that their shoes could be used as a weapon to cause serious injury or death:

“Under product liability there is a certain standard of care that is required to be up-held by potentially dangerous product … Do (sic) to the fact that these defendants named in this Tort claim failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction it has caused personal injury in the likes of mental suffering.”

Not helping Clardy’s case is the fact a psychologist declared him to be an anti-social psycopath who would definitely assault again if allowed to go free again. Well, that and the fact stomping out peoples’ faces often causes serious injury (and sometimes death), regardless of the shoes involved. Still, sweet afro, bro.