Chris Webber’s career is mostly remembered for famous instances of coming up just short of the Promised Land — once by his own doing, another by the zebras. However, on Thursday night, Webber managed to conquer two real-life NBA champions — Kenny Smith and Shaquille O’Neal — in winning Inside The NBA‘s “Chariots Of Backfire” 100-yard race.

For anyone hoping to see a fair and legitimate competition, they were sorely disappointed, as everyone but studio host Ernie “The Elevator” Johnson jumped the gun and took off on the word “SET!”. Charles Barkley pulled up fairly quickly because he was getting smoked early out of respect for Ernie’s protest of a false start. Meanwhile, Kenny, Shaq and Webber kept going. Of course, with Webber involved, there had to be controversy. As they approached the finish line, Kenny went into the victory formation, while Webber lunged forward and busted through the tape first. The officials didn’t bother reviewing, so Webber was awarded first place, leaving Kenny to do his best 1972 Team USA Basketball impression, refusing the silver medal and informing everyone that he’d never accept it.

Of course, the real winners were the viewers at home, as Webber’s involvement in the race allowed him to play fifth man on the Inside set Thursday. We love Webber’s presence on TNT/NBATV, both in studio and in the booth, and any appearance that further proves Shaq is a complete trainwreck on television is fine by us. Especially when he leave us with these great words of wisdom: “RUN THROUGH THE TAPE!”