Cliff Alexander is a high school senior from Chicago who is one of the top basketball recruits in the country — Rivals 150 ranks him 4th, ESPN 100 ranks him 3rd. Today, in a totally necessary, nationally televised press conference, Alexander made his college decision. There were two hats on the table: Illinois and Kansas. Because Mr. Alexander fancies himself a bit of a prankster, he grabbed the Illinois hat, holding it for a brief moment, before donning the Kansas hat and subsequently crushing the hopes and dreams of everyone in Champaign.
Meanwhile, a group of very excited Fighting Illini frat bros had gathered in their communal living room to hopefully celebrate some good news. Unfortunately, there was none to be had.