Rabbit Punches Week 8: Stafford Sneaks in Just the Tip

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

Broncos 45- Redskins 21

Denver scored the last 38 points and took care of the Redskins in Mike Shanahan’s return to Mile High. Shanahan saw a familiar sight in Mile High as an old white guy made decisions that resulted in a bad running back being useful. The only difference was that is game the old white guys for Denver was Peyton Manning instead of Shanahan and the running back was Knowshon Moreno instead of Mike Anderson, Reuben Droughns, Tatum Bell, or Selvin Young.

Chiefs 23- Browns 17

The Browns gave the Chiefs a scare but the Chiefs still end the day as the only undefeated team in the NFL. As long as the Chiefs stay undefeated teams will bring their best effort to knock them off. For the Browns that best effort included starting Jason Campbell who threw a touch down pass to Fozzy Whittaker who recently starred in the major motion picture The Muppets Last King of Scotland.

Patriots 27- Dolphins 17

Down 17-3 at the half with the boos raining down, the Patriots gathered themselves at halftime and scored 24 unanswered points to win the game. No one in the NFL believes in moral victories but Ryan Tannehill threw for more yards than Tom Brady 192 to 116, and if you play quarterback in the same division as Brady, you take whatever victories you can, moral or otherwise.

Lions 31- Cowboys 30

Calvin Johnson dominated with 329 yard receiving, the second most receiving yards in NFL history, but the play of the game was the game winning quarterback sneak by Matt Stafford. With no timeouts left and down by six the Lions drove to the one yard line and hurried to the line with Stafford signaling like he was going to kill the clock. Instead, Stafford quickly jumped over his lineman and extended the ball, playing just the tip with the goal line before anyone could stop him. Stafford must have learned this move at frat parties back at the University of Georgia.

Saints 35- Bills 17

After the game, Drew Brees and Sean Payton were not pleased with the mistakes their team made on the field, oh ya and they threw five touchdowns and won by 18. The Saints know that you need to strive for perfection in the NFL especially when you are winning if you want to keep winning, which is kind of like marrying Kim Kardashian. You may be winning now, but if you don’t try to stay perfect you might lose it all.

49ers 42- Jaguars 10

The 49ers dominated the Jaguars at Wembley Stadium in London, embarrassing the Jaguars in front of their future fans. The NFL hopes to move a team to London in the next decade and many believe it could be the Jaguars. When asked about the possibility of having the Jaguars as London’s team, British fans responded, “We gave you David Beckham to save the MLS and you’re gonna send us the Jaguars? Come on guys, this isn’t 1775.”