“Have you played pro football? College ball? Highschool? Pee-wee? Have you played Madden before?”

I assume that’s how every NFL combine interview starts, no?  If not, that’s at least how it works on Craigslist.  A disgruntled Cleveland Browns fan has taken to the one place where anything can be found to try and find the next great quarterback for his team.  The thing is, as the fan explains, is that the defense is “sick nasty” and that they actually have a shot at putting together a nice season.

This fan is in win now mode,


and Brandon Weeden just ain’t cutting it.  The ad was somewhat of a rant, but read for yourself if you’re interested in applying.

Hello, and thanks for reading.
Have you played pro football? College ball? Highschool? Pee-wee?
Have you played Madden before?
Do you sort of kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes keep reading. If no…well also keep reading! We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person.
The Cleveland Browns as you may have noticed are having problems scoring points on offense consistently. We are deciding that we actually want to win this year and that we have a real shot at it too. 3 wins in 6 games!? We were expecting maybe 1/3 of those wins for the whole year, but SOMEHOW we have a shot still. Here’s the thing…our defense is sick nasty, but we’ve got problems under center…well one problem. Brandon Weeden. If you’re sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter then please come apply! If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can’t, come anyway! We can teach you the basics….throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that’s WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16. Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You’re the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks!
Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.

That last bit really made the whole thing.  The Browns are tired of redheads as their quarterbacks!  And the weird thing about the ad are the pictures this gentleman threw in there.


Imagery at it’s best?  Our Craigslist buddy will clearly be drowning his frustrations away in a bottle of Smirnoff, unless he was simply trying to lure Kerry Collins out of retirement.  A bottle of vodka and this stellar office might just be the perks of the job:


So, if you want to apply and I guess train out of this guy’s house you know where to go.  Just don’t come whining back to us when you end up playing tackle football wearing a dress in a middle-aged man’s basement.

Check out the full ad here.


Your Next Impulse…

The Most Badass Referee Moments Of All Time

Monopoly Properties In Real Life

These Lovely Ladies Will Forever Change The Way You Look At A Madden Controller

Hockey Or Basketball?