John Ferensen

The NBA: Come For The Athletic Brilliance, Stick Around For The Characters

I could have taken the easy way out on this hockey vs. basketball argument by just posting a half dozen LeBron James highlight reels, followed by footage of Gary Bettman press conferences from all of the work stoppages that have happened under his watch, and calling it a day — but, like I said, too easy. Speaking of LeBron, have you seen LeBron play basketball? And not just on your 42-inch plasma TV. I mean, in person. It’s the most dazzling combination of aerial artistry, sheer athleticism, strength, and mastery of a man’s sport you’re ever going to see — and he can do it for 40+ minutes a night if he has to. Anyone on skates doing that? Nope.

Personal story time: Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I don’t get out to NBA games much. In fact, I’ve been to exactly one game since the Sonics skipped town in 2008. It was on February 24th, 2011 at the United Center in Chicago, with the Miami Heat visiting the Bulls. The game is perhaps best-remembered for Chris Bosh’s epic 1-18 shooting night, along with one of the most egregious flops in the history of everything (it’s a bad sign if I can see it from my $100 nosebleed seat, situated approximately 2.8 miles away from the play):

boshflopNow, you’re probably thinking “Hold on, how is this non-NBA-game-attending boob going to defend his precious little bouncy-ball dunk league, when one of its best players can’t hit a jumper to save his life, and flops harder than sissy European soccer players?” Because the other players on the court were the complete opposite of suck that night, and were a prime example of why the NBA is the most breathtaking sports league on Earth. It was (Future MVP) Derrick Rose and his merry band of defensive gurus, versus the flashy brilliance of LeBron, Dwyane Wade, Bosh, and a bunch of guys who were just happy to be there. The two best teams in the Eastern Conference, battling for home court advantage in the playoffs.

Did I mention something about aerial artistry before, in regards to LeBron? Well, it turns out Derrick Rose can do it too, including two drives against members of the Big 3 (well, more like Big 2 that night, due to Bosh’s 5-point stinkbomb):

Ironically, none of the All-Stars involved in those above highlights made the most important shot of the game. With the score tied at 89-89, Luol Deng found himself wide open in the corner, waiting for a pass from Rose, who commanded pretty much all of Miami’s attention. At that point, I was in a standing room section in the 300 Level of the United Center, surrounded by hammered Bulls fans. When Deng’s shot fell, the place exploded. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t until very recently that I heard Kevin Harlan’s masterful call of that decisive play. Everything about this sequence — Rose staring down LeBron, Harlan’s play-by-play, Reggie Miller actually shutting up and letting the moment sink in — is the NBA at its finest:

Of course, now you’re thinking “That’s nice, but what if it’s a February game between, say, the Bobcats and the Suns?” Newsflash:  aside from a collection of athletic freaks, the NBA is also a league of personalities — from its superstars, all the way to the last man on the bench (Kent Bazemore, stand up!). They don’t wear helmets, hats or masks. We know who these guys are, on and off the court. As such, even the worst teams can be entertaining. In their own goofy way, of course.

No team embodied this more than the 2011-12 Washington Wizards, which featured Andray “7-Day Dray” Blatche, Nick “What’s An Assist?” Young, and JaVale McGee. Yikes, they were god awful. They started the season 2-15, and got their coach (Flip Saunders) fired. But, thanks in no small part to McGee, the Wizards were Must-See TV that season. In addition, McGee was almost solely responsible for the creation of a weekly bloopers segment on TNT’s Inside The NBA:

In what other league do we celebrate such ineptitude to the point of turning that individual into a pseudo-celebrity? Not even Manny Ramirez at the height of “Manny Being Manny” was putting in that kind of work.

(Before we go further: yes, I just mentioned a 20-46 Wizards team in the same article as a 62-win Bulls team.)

In another shocking twist, I’m going to own up to the NBA’s most glaring deficiency: it is by far the most predictable of the four major sports leagues. I can’t argue that. But, the NBA makes up for it in ways other leagues could never do. The NBA is in the entertainment business, and it grasps that concept better than the NFL, MLB or the NHL. The networks that cover the NBA are also aware of this (well, the ones not named “ESPN”). For nearly 30 years, the NBA has been as much about the culture surrounding the game and its players, as the product on the court. From “It’s FANtastic”, all the way to embracing YouTube and social media before everyone else.

As for the NHL, if my life depended on picking Sidney Crosby out of a lineup, I’d be screwed — and he’s the best player they’ve got (or so I’m told). That’s not a good sign for the visibility of your league. Speaking of visibility, are the players still locked out? Because I can’t seem to find any games on my TV. Gary Bettman should probably do something about that, too. However, the good news for the NHL is that it now employs the son of the ugliest player in NBA history. So, you got that going for you.