Kony 2012Jason Russell, head honcho of the “charity” Invisible Children, creator of the heartstring-tugging viral sensation “Kony 2012”, and (lest we forget) famed public masturbator, is back in the news promoting his latest scam project. It’s titled “Come Home”, and it involves something a whole lot simpler than actually going into Uganda and removing evil warlords and their armies: LEAFLETS!

If you’ll look at the nifty graphic above, you can see how the leaflet campaign works: Drop knowledge from the sky –> encourage soldiers to leave Uganda and seek counseling (maybe they can fly in Dr. Phil for some sort of “Not-A-Real Doctors Without Borders” program) –> warm and fuzzy fun times once they’ve all “come home”.

That is how Russell, the slimiest snake oil salesman there is, plans on ridding Uganda of Joseph Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army (if they’re even really there anymore): asking them (kindly, of course) to leave. Now, if you’re like me, you’re thinking “Damn, that’s some straight up Hans Blix-from-Team America: World Police-type shit“. And it is. Oh, and here’s the best part: leaflet campaigns, counseling, etc. all require a lot of money (printing costs and airplane fuel adds up, ya know), so Russell, who banked nearly $20 million after tugging on America’s aforementioned heartstrings, is asking for your money all over again, just so he can litter Uganda with stacks of kindling.