NFL

Rabbit Punches Week 3: Browns Shock Vikings, or Just Beat a Bad Team

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

Jets 27- Bills 20
Geno Smith threw for 331 yards in an ugly win over the Buffalo Bills in a match up that featured two first year quarterbacks. The Jets were able to win despite racking up 158 penalty yards, and Rex Ryan losing two challenges in the span of three plays. It seems as though Ryan’s sexual fetish has now evolved from feet into and intense attraction to shooting ones self in the foot.

Panthers 38- Giants 0
Cam Newton preached all week that the Panthers were better than their record and then backed it up throwing for three touchdowns and rushing for one. The Panthers defense sacked Eli Manning seven times in the game. The redness in Tom Coughlin’s face may actually have been from embarrassment this week, as the Carolina Panthers handed the New York Giants their worst loss under Coughlin.

Patriots 23- Buccaneers 3
The New England Patriots improved to 3-0 with a win over the Buccaneers. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are making yet another group of young wide receivers look like some of the best in the league. Brady makes coming to New England to play wide receiver look like guest starring on Law and Order, pretty much anyone can do it.

Browns 31- Vikings 27

The Cleveland Browns shocked the football world this week when they traded seemingly their best player, Trent Richardson, for future first round draft pick.The Browns then jumped second string QB Jason Campbell for Cleveland native Bryan Hoyer to start for the injured Brandon Weeden. Maybe the Browns have found a new winning combination of a great run defense, and an inspiring quarterback.  Or just maybe the Viking have found a great losing combination of slow starts and a shaky QB.

Cowboys 31- Rams 7
The Dallas Cowboys got their second win at home while the St. Louis Rams got their second loss on the road. The Cowboys got 175 yards rushing from DeMarco Murray and three touchdown passes from Tony Romo in the victory. The Cowboys looked like they belong in the $1.2 billion home Jerry Jones built for them instead of bringing down the property value like the NFL’s Beverly Hillbillies as they did in the inaugural season at AT&T Stadium.

Ravens 30- Texans 9
After scoring the go ahead touch down on defense and holding their opponents without a touch down for 8 straight quarters has Ravens fans saying, “Ray Lewis who?” Only this time it is not a cover up for Lewis. On the flip side, its hard to say the Ravens offense struggled without Ray Rice for the first time since 2008, because their offense had been just about as bad with him for the last two games.

Powered by

You Might Also Like