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Tight End: Vernon Davis, San Francisco 49ers

In the middle of a tirade against Davis following a 2008 game, former Niners coach Mike Singletary said, “I cannot play with him. I cannot win with them. I cannot coach with them. I can’t do it.” Vernon must have felt the same way about his hair, because since chopping off the dreads the 49ers have twice gone to the NFC Championship game and made an appearance in Super Bowl XLVII, last year.

However, for the sake of this team, we will remember Vernon in his pre-buzzcut days.

Second-team: David Johnson, again.