NCAA, Trending

Washington State University Fans Deplete Beer Supply At Auburn Bar, Declare Moral Victory

Washington StateMike Leach’s Washington State University football team is currently in Auburn, preparing for a (likely) sound thrashing at the hands of the host Tigers. However, roughly 100 Cougar fans who made the journey to the Deep South can walk away with a moral victory, as their hard partying ways led to an utter annihilation of every keg at Quixotes Tex-Mex Restaurant near campus (note: we say “near campus” based on what Google Maps tells us — we don’t know exactly how consequential it is as a pre-game/weekend gathering place).

Reporters on the scene (aka, drunk WSU fans) claimed that the kegs ran dry roughly three hours before closing. The epic feat of drinking was confirmed by a bartender at Quixotes, who simply said (at 10:19 pm, Alabama Time): “Your fans drank us completely out of beer. We are going to have to close the place down.”

We don’t care where you are, where you’re from, or what you do — that’s fucking impressive. And yet, that’s still not even WSU’s finest alcoholic moment. Our favorite: the time WSU fans drank an entire airplane’s liquor supply on a flight to Las Vegas (with ten rows still left to serve), en route to a game against UNLV. Hey, we may suck at football, but at least our drinking team brings it.*

WSU President Elson Floyd was asked for comment, but he sent this, instead:




* In case anyone forgot (very likely), John Ferensen is a WSU alum. He also doesn’t usually speak in third person, unless it’s 3 am on a Saturday morning.