Okay, that headline is a little misleading, but, in all fairness, Derrick Rose does live in the Trump Tower in Downtown Chicago (not that I stalk him, or anything), and three insane guys did climb the 92-story tower last night to parachute off the top. Naturally, the high-profile residents (none more important than Derrick Rose, of course) are not pleased:

“It’s a bit unnerving and disappointing because the attraction for a lot of us is the security,” one resident told the Chicago Sun-Times. “There are a lot of famous people in the building. It’s known for having a lot of security and for being a safe place to live. It’s unnerving to know that three strangers were able to enter the building and reach restricted-access areas.”

If you haven’t been to Chicago, we should tell that the building is friggin’ enormous. The roof clocks in at 1,116 feet, and, if you include the spire, the building tops out at 1,389 feet — the 12th-tallest building in the world.

Police on the ground actually saw the trio jump, but couldn’t get to the landing zone in time before they ran off into the night. According to their report, the men used cutting tools to gain access to the roof. Security cameras captured the men on their epic climb, but they have not been identified yet.