The number of players suspended for, accused of, rumored to be using or otherwise associated with performance-enhancing drugs could fill more than a few 25-man rosters. Those hundreds of players could even start their own PED league, with The Mitchell Report potentially owning an entire division.
As the steroid era (hopefully) comes to a close, many accusations and rumors still cloud the big leagues, with the names of Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Jeff Bagwell being whispered across the baseball landscape.
The following MLB All-PED 25-man roster only includes those that have tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs or have admitted to PED use during their careers, not those still fielding rumors and fending off accusations.
Catcher: Benito Santiago – A 20-year MLB veteran, the very reliable Santiago admitted to PED use in year No. 19.
1B: Mark McGwire – If Tony LaRussa had not extended an offer to McGwire in 2010 to become the Cardinals’ hitting coach, Big Mac still might be maintaining his innocence, or ignorance. The slugger popped 49 HRs in 1987 in capturing the 1987 AL Rookie of the Year award, beginning a tainted career in which he hit nearly one bomb per ten at-bats.
2B: Brian Roberts – The longtime Orioles second basemen admitted to steroid use in 2007 following repeated allegations, namely from The Mitchell Report. The career .280 hitter maintains he only took one injection of juice in 2003.
3B: Alex Rodriguez – No introduction necessary.
SS: Neifi Perez – Third time’s the charm for Neifi Perez. The 15-year veteran infielder tested positive for a banned stimulant in August of 2007, his third such positive test to ingloriously cap a career littered with web gems and reliable offense.
OF: Jose Canseco – The poster boy of PEDs, Jose Canseco is not ashamed to admit ‘roids propelled him to 462 career homers and 1407 RBI in 17 seasons. While his mobility and reflexes would limit his effectiveness in the outfield, he is a powerful bat for the All-PED team.
OF: Ryan Braun – He did it.
OF: Manny Ramirez – Manny set a tremendous example to all young aspiring ballplayers: quit if you get caught.
DH: Rafael Palmeiro – Palmeiro got hosed out of a Razzie Award for his March 2005 Congressional hearing performance.
Bench: Mike Cameron – While Cameron maintains he never took steroids and instead claims a tampered stimulant triggered a positive test and subsequent suspension in 2007, his clean reputation as a dynamic outfielder was destroyed.
Bench: Jason Giambi – Long under the cloud of PED suspicion, Giambi finally gave up in 2003. After dominating AL pitching in the late ’90s and early 2000s on his way to 400 HRs and 20 stolen bases, the former slugger has limped around the bigs for much of the last decade.
Bench: Fernando Vina – A reliable utility man, Vina bounced around the infields of National League teams for a decade before admitting to HGH, but apparently not steroids, use during a 2007 interview with ESPN.
Bench: Carlos Ruiz – Widely lauded for his ability to handle pitchers, Ruiz was suspended for 25 games last November for a positive test. In unrelated news, Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels have combined for a 15.19 ERA in 2013.
SP1: Andy Pettitte – Alex Rodriguez admits to PED use before donning pinstripes and the Yankee faithful despise him. Andy Pettitte admits to PED use as a Yankee and everyone still loves the 200-game winner. Poor A-Rod.
SP2: Bartolo Colon – A two-time All-Star and 2005 AL Cy Young winner, albeit undeserved, the one-time innings eater Colon appeared to wrapping up a 175-200 win career when suspended 50 games last season.
SP3: Paul Byrd – Another “innocent” HGH user, Paul Byrd admitted to use under “doctor’s care and supervision” in 2007. The late-bloomer recorded five double-digit win seasons and three straight sub-4.00 ERA campaigns in the early 2000s.
SP4: Edinson Volquez – As a 17-game winner with a 3.21 ERA in Cincinnati during the 2008 season, Edinson Volquez was touted as the best thing since sliced bread. Just turns out that bread was laced with PEDs, leading to a 2010 suspension.
SP5: Runelvys Hernandez – One of hundreds of promising Royals’ prospects of the decade, Hernandez provided a couple nice seasons in Kansas City before landing in Houston in 2008. A cool 50-game suspension for PED use in the minor leagues that August unofficially ended the righthander’s career.
RP: Juan Rincon – No way could the soft-spoken Venezuelan reliever have the cahones to take PEDs…
RP: Guillermo Mota – Mota provided reliable back-end bullpen relief for 14 seasons with over 700 appearances, but was just as reliable when peeing into a cup. He was slapped with a second suspension in early 2012 for another positive test.
RP: Rafael Betancourt – One of the most coveted relievers in the bigs since his 2003 debut with Cleveland, Betancourt was nabbed in 2005. Unlike many busted players, the veteran righthander recovered from his suspension to record four more sub-3.00 ERA seasons.
Set-up: Ryan Franklin – A converted starter shortly after receiving his 10-game ban in 2005, Franklin bolstered the Cardinals bullpen from 2007-2010 in various roles.
Closer: John Rocker – In the words of the eccentric John Rocker, “Yeah, of course I was (using steroids). Let’s be honest here.”