NCAA

NCAA Tournament: No One Cares About Your Bracket

No one cares about your bracket. No one cares who your Final Four is, just like no one cares that you have North Carolina State upsetting Indiana or Harvard over New Mexico.

No one cares that you have all four No. 1 seeds reaching Atlanta and no cares that you do not have any No. 1 seeds in Atlanta.

You picked Lehigh over Duke and Norfolk State over Mizzou, but that gives you no right to tout your next “masterpiece” comprised of Belmont, Oregon and South Dakota State.20110307-0970

Nate Wolters is not your boy, nor did any casual fan know who Nate Wolters was before 6:00 p.m Eastern time on Sunday. No one cares if Jay Bilas or Dicky V also loves Wolters and picked the rabid Jackrabbits to challenge Michigan.

No one cares if Doug Gottlieb, Seth Davis, Digger Phelps or every single so-called “expert” picked the same upsets as you. They’re not experts. When was the last time any “expert” correctly picked every game? Never. A 65-year-old retired librarian from Senegal who thinks a basketball is a sex toy has an equally good chance of nailing a perfect bracket.

No one cares if you picked almost every game correctly. We only care about the 65-year-old retired librarian from Senegal that just picked UConn over Butler to complete a perfect bracket.

I care about my bracket, my hard-earned $5 and my team. I love my Jayhawks and don’t care that you think it’s hilarious to pick Roy Williams’ Tar Heels over them. You can pick New Jersey Insitute of Technology to win the national title over Kansas for all I care.

Picking a perfect bracket is impressive but is absurdly luck, yet still worthy of a tip of the cap. A perfect bracket is plain cool. You still don’t deserve any credit, none more than my dog who pissed on my bracket in 2006, drenching Northwestern State’s name, thus forcing me to also pick the Demons to upset Iowa.

No one cares if you knew Shaka Smart was college hoops’ next big thing because, well you’re lying. You picked VCU on a whim because they upset Duke six years ago and now like the idea of naming your dog Shaka.

You have no clue if Kansas State’s motion offense is actually going to match up well against Wisconsin, Gonzaga or Ohio State. No one cares if you were right, just like no one cares if you knew Marcus Smart is a hoss. We all know Marcus Smart is a hoss.

No one cares if you won your $5 office pool last year, five years ago, 50 years ago or 75 years in a row, just like no ones cares if you were the only employee to pick Hampton over Iowa State a billion years ago. That was a lucky guess and no one remembers. You had no clue where Hampton University was located before March 15, 2001.

No one cares about your bracket.