Softball Coach

The following is a list of things my high school is/was/has been known for on a national level (to some degree): its jazz band, its drama program (okay, so we’re strong in The Arts — I’m not apologizing for that), possibly your next winner of The Bachelor, Sir Mix-A-Lot, a documentary about our girls basketball team, and that time a bunch of our football players stole a bunch of stuff pretty much everything from the football locker room at the University of Washington. So, when I see Roosevelt High School mentioned in a Deadspin article, I get excited. Until I realize that, odds are, it can’t be for anything good.

Troy Hennum, 25, was hired six days ago as the new head coach of what I will just assume is still a dreadfully awful softball team (they may or may not have won a game in the four years I attended the school — I was too busy traveling the globe with the aforementioned jazz band to notice). However, it only took a week for Mr. Hennum to get into the news, and (we hope you’re sitting down) it wasn’t for magically turning the team’s fortunes around:

Last week, the Roosevelt High School softball coach sent members of his team out on an unusual scavenger hunt. The mission: take photos of “cute girls” and bring them back, with telephone numbers, for his perusal.

Instead of fielding flies, the players were farmed out to snag him a date, according to a string of text messages he sent to one of the young women targeted in the hunt.

One of those “cute girls”, Katharine Asgard, shared her experience with a reporter from the Seattle Times:

Katharine Aagard said she was at work at a sporting-goods store last Friday when a group of giggling girls approached, explaining their mission. Later that day, the 21-year-old began receiving text messages from Hennum.

“this is troy. The roosevelt softball coach. I had to see if your legit,” he wrote.


“Genius, great way to meet a girl, use my girls lol,” he wrote in another text, patting himself on the back for the scavenger hunt.

“Are you single? Or am I wasting my time,” he wrote in another message.

At first, Aagard said, “I was a little bit flattered” by the attention.

But as she thought more about it, she began to see the dozens of messages differently. When she asked him to send her a photo, he joked and stalled.

“Hahaha. Pics coming child,” he wrote.

Child? Aagard was taken aback.

“Figure of speech loser,” he wrote.

This guy is a real Renaissance Man, if you ask us. Sadly, referring to girls as “children” and “losers” over the years has probably landed him dalliances with girls riddled with low self-esteem. But he picked the wrong target this time, as Aagard did a little Internet sleuthing to find out more about her mysterious suitor:

Aagard later found a Times story about Hennum being investigated at Lake Washington for allegedly sending inappropriate texts. At that time, an athlete reported that while the team was at a hotel in Wenatchee, Hennum and another athlete were exchanging a flurry of texts late at night. He later admitted suggesting the athlete meet him alone, but said he was just trying to reach out to the girl, who was having some personal problems, according to the investigative file.

So, not only is Hennum a creeper, he’s a full-blown predator, and has now brought shame upon my alma mater. Thanks for nothing, douche.