When news broke on Tuesday that Robert Swift had finally vacated his foreclosed Sammamish home, the story was accompanied by a handful of photos of the previously unseen interior. Images of guns, ammunition, empty beer cans and boxes of recruiting letters strewn about painted a vivid portrait of the life of an NBA lottery bust. As it turns out, KOMO TV’s initial report didn’t quite cover all the gory details. However, the fine folks over at BuzzFeed pursued it further, and their account — an interview with the new owner, plus an array of new photos — paints an even more disgusting and bizarre portrait of the situation:
When we first stepped into the house, the stench was just awful; I’m 5 feet 4 inches, and there were piles of garbage as tall as me in the garage. And this is a big garage, probably five cars, and it seemed like they just opened the door of the house and threw the kitchen garbage in here. They’ve never had garbage service. We’ve cleared out four Dumpsters of stuff so far, and there’s still a bit more.
The master bedroom was the worst-smelling room — I don’t know if he slept there or not, but it was disgusting. We found a five-gallon jug of piss sitting in the corner of the room. The bathroom was disgusting, the toilets were disgusting. One of the sinks had a towel over it and it was like straight out of a horror movie: When we took away the towel, flies flew out, and the sink was filled with maggots. It turned out that someone had vomited into the sink and didn’t want to clean it up, so they just covered it in a towel.
Robert really liked his guns and his firearms. We found so many bullets, bullet casings, slugs — like, at least 100–200 loose bullets, boxes three-quarters full of bullets…There was also a mannequin torso or something that they were shooting at that had holes in it…He left a ton of BB guns and stuff — I’m guessing he took most of the real guns.
He left an El Camino that had no engine, and there were two cars left in the cul-de-sac. When we arrived, the sheriff came up and asked if it was our car, and he ran the plates — the tow guy absolutely loved us, because it turned out that a big black Nissan Titan, which must have been Robert’s truck, was on the repossession list, so he got an extra 500 bucks for that.
Other items of note include a bitchin’ Bud Light palm tree:
A Jack Sparrow-themed bedroom:
Samurai swords (just in case all of his guns malfunctioned at once while fending off robbers):
Some VHS tapes (we understand, we’d probably leave those behind as well):
And a knife-wielding doll that will haunt your dreams: