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The Girls and Fans of the Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party

Last Saturday was the annual World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party which also happened to be the biggest day that everyone goes out for Halloween. I often hear talk about how the girls of the SEC are amazing (especially Mississippi State) and how this Florida/Georgia game is a killer party. Because of this I had high expectations for what sort of fans and random people I was going to find. I previously did this for the Red River Rivalry between Oklahoma and Texas and even though the girls were about as hot as Brian Scalabrine from downtown the fans in the stands more than made up for it. Thankfully this Florida/Georgia contest ended up being a close game with tons of drama so there were plenty for me to work with.

The first shot of the telecast and Florida goes hard in the motha f’n paint. It took watching the entire Oklahoma/Texas game before they showed any girls of this calibre. Great start.

I thought that stuff like this only happened in the valley in LA. Who knew this was also the World’s Largest Porno Shoot.

After Georgia scored the first touchdown of the game this Georgia fan decided that the best way to react was to look into the eyes of his bald Florida friend like he was 10 deep and trying to pick up a chick at a bar, caress the back of his head, and have the least manly reaction ever.

It is a false rumor that all cheerleaders are hot. A lot of them are hot, like these Oregon Cheerleaders, but often times the title of cheerleader lends more credibility than is actually warranted…sort of like the Dallas Cowboys. That’s why I am a big fan of this shot. From behind all of these cheerleaders look smoking hot. It keeps the hope alive.

It drives me nuts when I see kids 12 and under sitting in courtside seats or in the first row of a game. They really have zero concept of what they are actually experiencing and how much those seats cost. They need to work 40 hours a week at Fifth Third Bank as an inside sales rep of a call center for a year and then try and buy those tickets to really grasp how unreal those seats are.

Remember the face of this girl directly next to these two kids. She will show up more than once. Apparently Mr. Cameraman has a thing for redheads.

The woman in the black at the top arrow is wearing one of the worst outfits I can think of to a Florida/Georgia game. Sure I’m no George Kotsiopoulos or Joan Rivers (for all you Fashion Police fans out there) but I at least have enough fashion sense to know that if you are going to a football game at least try and wear a color of one of the teams and in the event that you don’t do that just wear something hot. This chick does neither.  Thankfully there is a hot chick about three rows in front of her to help even things out.

How would you like to live at this baller house? Life probably doesn’t suck for the guy that lives there.

OK, Georgia steps their game up a bit but is still keeping with the whole “o-face porno look thing”.

I appreciate this OG rocking a Florida Gators Jason mask. There were very few people who dressed up so hefty Mac Miller and his boy who is doing a weak John Randall impression were a breath of fresh air.

Don’t look at the guy who is doing the Georgia O-face, look at the guy who is wearing a Colorado Buffalos shirt to a Florida/Georgia game. The fact that he made the decision to wear this shirt is one thing, but the fact that he is still rocking Colorado gear despite the fact that they are possibly the worst team in college football is a whole other issue. In case you aren’t a degenerate like me here’s a quick recap of how Colorado has done so far this year: they lost to Sacramento State at home, they lost to Fresno State by 55, USC by 44, and Oregon by 56. Who ever thought that Rashaan Salaam was the glue to hold this program together?

Look who’s back, the redheaded sort of hot girl from the front row. Good to see that the camera man is just “checking in”.

I don’t know much about marching band or xylophones but I do know that jackets that have accessories that look like they belong on a Christmas tree is not a good look. This is most definitely not the way to try and pick up chicks.

And she’s back again…and playing with her hair again.

Look at the size of that camera lens. I’ve seen rocket launchers that are smaller than that.

It looks like we’ve found our one Woo Girl.

I didn’t know that Jay Cutler was also an amateur photographer covering the Florida/Georgia game. He sure has the nonchalant/I don’t care look down pat.

Despite what I said early about cheerleaders, never confuse the spirit team for cheerleaders.

Another example of two people who didn’t get the memo that they were going to a football game. That woman’s outfit looks like a level of Snake that I once played on my TI-82 calculator.

Good to see that the Gators have a possessed cheerleader on the squad.

Case in point to my cheerleader looks statement. They are not smokeshows but they are better looking than what you’ll probably find in the Big East.

Wait, you’re telling me that it was Lisa Loeb who sang “Stay” and not Joan Osborne?

This is a nice example of hot girl hair. I’m not sure what’s up with the dude who is spaced out like he’s doing one of those weird montage’s on the Real World where you just sit by yourself looking out into the distance.

Way to redeem yourself Florida.

Loving this view.

Here is a classic example of one fan thinking that he is way smarter than everyone else and his friend is having none of it. Earlier last week I heard a guy who thought he was the smartest guy in the bar say, “a game can’t end on an offensive penalty”. Ya, that’s this guy.

Tommy likey.

No joke this chick smelled her hair for a good 5-7 seconds on live TV. I think Mom is concerned that she might have to stage an intervention.

These guys with their croakies are fratastic. The guy in the bow tie takes bro to a whole new level. I bet his name is Chad.

We’ve got loads of goodness in this picture. At the bottom we’ve got two hot girls. The girl above them on the left can’t believe that she’s dating a guy that is wearing sunglasses at night. The girl immediately above and in between them is doing her best horse impression.

This Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party would have lost a lot of credibility had there not been a guy with his shirt off waving it in celebration. Thankfully this bro takes care of that. There’s also a blonde girl who could potentially be hot.

Wow, someone really isn’t happy that Tim Tebow isn’t starting for the New York Jets yet. Kudos to this guy for totally out kicking his coverage. Since they are sharing the same concerned look I’m just going to assume that they are practicing making babies together. If that’s the case then this is the Marko Jaric of Florida.

Georgia wins the game and closes the night out with some lovely ladies. Special shout out to the girl in the top corner picking her nose.

This was written by Rob Cressy, a special contributor to CosbySweaters. Rob run’s BaconSports.com, a blog dedicated to sports humor, nostalgia, and finding bad, random, and obscure sports jerseys that fans rock. If you are at a game or a bar and see someone rocking an Mateen Cleaves Detroit Pistons or Curtis Enis Chicago Bears jersey take a pic then send it his way. You can also check him out on Twitter and Facebook.