The Girls and Fans of the Red River Rivalry

Saturday’s Red River Rivalry between the Texas Longhorns and Oklahoma Sooners featured two top 15 teams and had the potential to be a pretty good game. Unfortunately this one was over by early in the second quarter as Mack Brown pulled a Mack Brown. Since the game itself was no longer worth watching I thought it would be a good idea to watch the fans of both teams and see how they reacted to the score, being on National TV, and pretty much anything else that might make the game salvageable. Luckily the fans of both teams did not disappoint.

This Texas chick looks as pleased about the score as girls are who spend a night with Derek Jeter and don’t get a gift basket. I can’t believe that Kappa’s would allow one of their own to hang out with and likely bang a guy who is rocking croakies.

Really Dad, head to toe Florida Gators gear at the Oklahoma/Texas game?

“I thought we hit rock bottom when Garrett Gilbert was the quarterback but this is a whole new level of bad. Thankfully I’ve got my super fratastic bro next to me to help cheer me up”. –the Sad Cowboy

This is what an attractive Longhorns fan thinks about the score of the game.

* insert Oklahoma 1*

I’ve never really thought about what girls that go to Oklahoma look like but I’m pretty sure this crowd is exactly what I would have assumed. They are definitely no Arizona State so keep drinking.

Peek-a-boo I see you! Note to hot girls that might one day end up on TV, eating chicken fingers is never a good look.

This is the same look that girls have when Greg Oden drops his pants. Also, can you think of a less flattering way of being caught on camera than the chick on the right? I really have no clue what she is trying to do. An impression of a rooster picking his nose? Apparently being down 31 to your arch rival will get you to do some pretty strange things.

I thought that only players on BYU got married while still in college? What the hell Landry Jones? There are some things about football players that are nice to know when you are a fan. What the quarterback’s girlfriend/wife looks like is definitely one of them. You assume that the quarterback of any major college program can slay so it’s always nice when you see that he lives up to his potential. Also, kudos to Landry Jones wife for being friends with Andre Rison.

Roger Clemens took time away from his busy schedule with the Sugarland Skeeters to show us that he still has his game face on. Way to smile for the camera Rog. It’s not like you couldn’t use those extra brownie points and all (though if he was smiling PTI would likely run a segment saying, “Why was Roger Clemens happy when Texas was down 31 to Oklahoma?”).  This is the also same look that Nick Saban has regardless of if Alabama wins or loses.

Two things stand out in this picture. First, I’ve never met a chick who is rocking a camouflage hat at a football game none the less anywhere in life. Who says that going on a date to Cabela’s can’t be romantic? Next, take a look at the old guy in the Oklahoma gear sporting the old people sunglasses. I don’t know what they are actually called so I just Googled “old people sunglasses” and this image came up so I’m pretty sure they are just called old people sunglasses. I know that as you get older you lose touch with reality, become a horrible driver, and like to eat dinner at 4 pm. Even though I accept that some of these things will happen I do not see a scenario when I will be so out of touch that I buy old people sunglasses. Maybe this is my “I’ll never drive a mini-van moment” but I’m holding strong on this one.

This is like Where’s Waldo except with cowboys.

If this guy is smart he’ll just cut ties and never look back. Otherwise he’s going to be seeing this look just about every day for the next 60 years of his life. Here’s how a typical Saturday conversation would probably go 10 years from now:

Missy (because she looks like a Missy): “Dammit Pete, I told you that I wanted Bounty paper towels, not this generic store brand crap! Go back to the store immediately and get them. You are such an freaking moron!”

Pete: “But honey it’s the fourth quarter and Texas is driving for the game winning score. Can I just go after the game?”

Missy: “If you would have listened and hadn’t been such an idiot the first time then this wouldn’t have been an issue. GO NOW!”

Pete just puts his head down, turns off the TV, then drives away in his sensible Ford Taurus.

At this point in the game a Longhorns player had just gotten injured and they were bringing out the stretcher. There was a look of concern on everyone’s face in the stadium then they panned over to this guy. As one to never miss an opportunity to be on camera he decided to go against the grain and show how awesome he is by giving the double Longhorn salute. “Who cares if there’s a chance that player will never walk again I got on camera bitches!”

We’ve got all sorts of goodness going on in this one.

Ut oh, look who’s still not happy? That’s right, our girl Missy is back and she’s just as pissed as if Pete didn’t put the toilet seat down. RUN PETE, RUN!

What says “I love Texas Longhorns football” more than rocking a Roger Staubach Dallas Cowboys jersey to the game? He may be rooting for a team in the right state but this is still a major jersey fail! Had this been a Roy Williams jersey I might have let it slide.

How do you know that you are a hardcore Longhorns fan? You go to the game rocking a neck brace. This woman should receive free entry to the game just for this. Even a serious car accident won’t stop her from seeing Mack Brown lose a big game.

You know who’s not having fun? These two Longhorns fans who picked the wrong day to scalp tickets in the Oklahoma section.

This picture tells you everything that you need to know about this game.

At least Texas fans were hotter so they’ve got that going for them…which is nice.

This was written by Rob Cressy, a special contributor to CosbySweaters. Rob run’s BaconSports.com, a site dedicated to sports nostalgia and finding bad, random, and obscure sports jerseys that fans rock. If you are at a game or a bar and see someone rocking an Andy Katzenmoyer Patriots or Lawrence Phillips Rams jersey take a pic then send it his way. You can also check him out on Twitter and Facebook.