Culture, Misc

Something NOT to Say to Bartenders

We bartenders tend to think people are annoying most of the time.  And if this story had only happened to me once before I wouldn’t be telling it.  Even two or three times.  But since it occurs with some regularity I feel it’s worth mentioning as a public service announcement.  A person sitting at a table comes up to me behind the bar and says “I can’t find my waitress.”  Since it’s not a question, I usually just stare blankly at them for a moment to see if they have more to say.  When it becomes obvious they are waiting for a response from me, I hold back from asking “Have you looked?” (because 9 out of 10 times they haven’t) and instead say something like “Let me try to find her for you.  What does she look like?”

“I don’t know.”

Seriously?  You can’t give me anything?  Short, tall, blond, brunette; nothing?  At this point I glance around the room, gesture towards the closest server, and ask “Is that her?”  More often than not it is.  Occasionally I have to point out two or three people before successfully spotting the waitress who is apparently invisible to her patrons.

Please, please, don’t ever be this person. I’d much rather you ask me for $7 of Patron, or even pull out a Scrabble board and start playing it on the bar.

Check out my blog “37 seconds of sports and other stuff i care about” at lucidsportsfan.com, and follow me on twitter @LucidSportsFan