Rabbit Punches: NFL Week 3

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

New Orleans Saints fall to 0-3 all but ensuring the former powerhouse will not make the playoffs this year. Suspended coach Sean Payton, has been retroactively given the coach of the year for the last 3 years. However in a President Snow style power move, Roger Goodell immediately vacated all three awards.

The Detroit Lions tied the Tennessee Titans with a thrilling hail mary reminiscent of the Mike Williams play in 2010 in which the Jaguars defeated the Texans. Unfortunately the Lions pulled an overtime  a move reminiscent in its ineptitude of the Vikings defense against Michael Vick.[youtube][/youtube]

The surprising Arizona Cardinals are 3-0. Larry Fitzgerald became the  youngest player ever to 700 catches. In a grudge match with his former backup, Michael Vick had a 64.8 passer rating while Kevin Kolb’s was 127.4. Even with all of these story lines to focus on, I need to mention that my fellow Cretin Derham Hall Raider, Michael Floyd, scored his first NFL touchdown. As proud of Michael as I am, he still has no fantasy football relevance so, that is all I have to say.

The New York Jets benefited from an attempt to ‘ice’ the kicker. Tim Tebow was given the game ball even though he has yet to contribute on the field, he was praying super hard for that to happen in overtime.

The Houston Texans begin a season 3-0 for the first time in franchise history. Coincidence or not, this was the first time in franchise history Matt Schaub, Arian Foster, and Andre Johnson have all been healthy for 3 consecutive games.

Cleveland falls to Buffalo in a game I am naming The Fantasy Bowl, because without fantasy football this match up would have been fantasizing to beat a re-run of Necessary Roughness in TV ratings, U.S.A, characters welcome.

Atlanta continues to dominate. As the Falcons begin to take the national stage let us get one thing straight. Matt Ryan’s nickname “Matty Ice” has absolutely nothing to do with ice in his veins. If you are unfamiliar with the other possible origin of that nickname, then you probably have never drank warm Boxer Light.

Bill Belichick was livid last night that the final field goal was not reviewed. He grabbed a referee on his way off the field to discuss this matter. Even if this play were reviewable, which it is not so relax Bill, the Belichick overstepped his bounds by touching the official. However the league usually turns a blind eye when Belichick over steps his bounds, so look for him to be fined less than Fox and Del Rio.
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