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Rabbit Punches: NFL Week 1!

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

Welcome to the first NFL based RP. I say NFL based because if you don’t realize the NFL rules the roost in sports coverage you can probably name all the housewives from Orange County to Atlanta. So during the football season RP will be based mostly on the NFL and any other story that can claim to be in the same ballpark (pun intended) as the NFL.

Jets sail to a huge victory over the Bills, and fans in New York are livid. The Jets faithful cannot believe that Mark Sanchez played well enough for them not to call for Tim Tebow as the starter.

Adrian Peterson added to his legacy as a freak of nature by having a huge game just 9 months after a violent knee injury. Peterson’s body continues to perform faster and better than medical experts expect, and he says that he feels good. Jerome Bettis advises him to wait a few years and talk to him then.

5 rookies Quarter Backs started this season opener, 3 more than any pervious year. This shows that the video game era has finally caught up to us. If the military uses Call of Duty to desensitize their soldiers to combat violence, than anyone who has grown up playing Madden should be able to destroy a cover 2.

With several blown calls by replacement referees, including an extra time out for Seattle in the final minutes of the game, we now have definitive proof that unions are destroying America.

One of my pet peeves is when people do not realize how much a writer can frame a story for the tone they desire. For instance here are two headlines I could write for the Packers vs 49ers game: Packers Loose Heartbreaker to Fellow Super Bowl Hopeful 49ers. Or, Packers Loose 2 in a Row and 3 of Their Last 5, Time to Panic?

Chicago Bears fans put themselves on the level of Tampa Bay Rays fans who leave seats empty in the playoffs, when Jay Cutler had to beg the fans to be quiet while their own offense was in the red zone. I saw it with the Blackhawks, but now I feel comfortable labeling Chicago a fair weather town across the board. You might say, “What about the people who loves the Cubs through all these years?” People do not love the Cubs, they love drinking near a stadium and saying they love baseball.

Robert Griffin III impressed in his NFL debut. It looks like JaMarcus Russell will have to settle for Brandon Weeden and Russell Wilson in the support group.

Art Modell passed away this week and the NFL lost an iconic leader. The people of Cleveland plan to honor their former owner with a moment of silence during their choreographed dance on his grave.

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