Olympics

Rabbit Punches: Olympics!

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

With the time difference between here and London, I did not know when to publish my review of the weekend. So I checked with Greenwich Mean Time and I am already a day late. So here is the updated Olympic Rabbit Punches.

Michael Phelps retires as the all time leading medal winner in Olympic history. Phelps is the best. Yes you can argue that Michael Jordan could not win a medal for playing 3 on 3 (which would be awesome), but even if swimmers and runners are the only athletes with a chance to be the most decorated, that is what the Olympics are all about. The Olympics are about paying attention to sports you could not pay me enough to watch high school athletes compete. The only problem with Phelps exiting the pool is that he will most likely enter the booth. He has trained for years to be under water, not talk above it.

Gabby Douglas skyrocketed to stardom as the first African-American to win all around gold. Upon arriving home, her gold medals will easily be the most valuable objects in Gary Indiana. And if you thought I was taking a shot at Gary, than you are not up to date on sports memorabilia auctions. And yes I was.

Although it was not a Wimbledon title technically, Andy Murray avenges his finals loss earlier this year by winning gold at the All England Club. This snaps the 76 year drought for a homegrown champion at Wimbledon. This begs the question, how can a country full of rich white people be so bad at tennis for so long.

Usain Bolt retains the title of fastest man in the world, defending his gold medal in the 100 meter dash. Bolt joins Carl Lewis as the only two athletes to win the 100 meter in consecutive Olympics. Although the two runner are similar, I hope Bolt transfers to the music business easier than Lewis.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHRmx4yV4MY[/youtube]

Team USA Basketball fights off scares from Lithuania and Argentina to make the elimination round. Experts think fatigue can play a factor in this long tournament. Kobe Bryant has been vocal saying that he would probably have a gold medal too if he only had to compete for 9.63 seconds.

#1 U.S.A women’s soccer team escaped a scare from Canada to make the Olympic finals. Misogynists across the country asked if anyone took off her shirt in celebration? Upon hearing the answer “No,” they went back to the episode of “2 and a Half Men” where Charlie has sex with that one girl.

Via Olympics.org