Culture, Olympics

How The Olympic Torch Should Be Lit, As Submitted By Readers

We took a poll on our Cosby Sweaters facebook page to see how the Olympic torch should be lit up today, responses below.

C.S. Somehow will get lit via a “Call Me Maybe” cover

C.S. Fu*k it, don’t light it.

Joe Whiteman They’re going to light it with an iPhone app.

Linard Gibson They’ll use all the electricity they’re saving by not giving non-British athletes a/c to light it with an epic spark.

Dan Clem They’ll light Mitt Romney on fire and then catapult him into the main torch.

Will Reed Lighting a spiral thing at the bottom and the fire rises up to the top

Vince LiFonti Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are going to burn Yoko Ono.

Pete Blackburn Brian Scalabrine will light the fire using only his mind. It will look something like this…http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HzbaSM72NVA/TyoPcOsAaSI/AAAAAAAADac/vx0vN_VfmTY/s1600/brian-scalabrine-e1328118911374.jpg

 Raul Ochoa Harry potter and the top gear guys will do a car stunt and that will light the flame.
Tony Stroot One option they probably won’t use: a guy dresses as Paul Revere, rides in on a horse, and a few fellow Americans would light up the torch with lanterns – using one lantern indicates the British athletes will be really awful in the Olympics, or two if they’ll be really, really awful.
Donald Paluga Pete Townsend lights his guitar and smashes it into the cauldron
Spazzy Magee Using 1 Direction cd’s?
Ryan Wong the torch will pop up from under a fountain and then Adele will ‘set fire to the rain’…..and then herself
Jeff Greenwell I’m not 100% sure on the details, but it better involve a hologram of national treasure Benny Hill, a whole mess of yakety sax, and everyone involved comically running around at an exaggerated speed.
J.R. Templeton I’m guessing fire.