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38 Year Old Nash Gets 3 Year Offer After Perfecting ‘Old White Guy Tricks’

The Toronto Raptors have reportedly offered Steve Nash a 3 year contract worth $36 million. Sources say the Raptors are interested in Nash for several reasons. The Canadian Nash could provide a boost in ticket sales but Raptors officials say this offer is not motived by nationality but by skill and production.

This offseason the 38 year old Nash has spent countless hours in the gym playing pick up games to hone his ‘old white guy’ moves. Nash would be 41 at the end of the offered contract and decided he needs to improve his old white guy tricks especially after the NBA said he could not be the only guy in the league to play with his shirt off. Here are some of the new additions to Nash’s games.


The No-Look Taunt pass– Nash has always been a prolific passer but to be more like an old white guy, he has improved his trash talking after a no look pass. It is pivotal that everyone knows how great the pass you just made was.

The unneccessary behind the back pass-


Behind the head release– Nash has completely changed his shot by eliminating any vertical jump and changing his release point to behind his head making his shot virtually un-blockable from the front.

The No-Jump Lay up– a player shoots a lay up in mid stride. It effectively neutralizes shot blockers who have subconsciously time their jump based on when the shooter leaves his feet.

Bank 3-pointer– pretty self explanatory, yet deadly. Nash is now at the age where it counts even if he does not call it.

Post Game

The Quick under arm scoop– Back to the basket, right-handed player pivots a quarter turn on his left foot and quickly shoots a scoop shot with his right hand under the outstretched arm of the defender. It is impossible to block but hard to perfect.

The Chicken Wing– refers to any use of the elbow in the low post to gain space from the defender.  Technically illegal, but no one calls it in the post.


The aggressive hand check– might not fly in the NBA.

via ESPN.com