Culture, Media, Sports

Peyton’s Place: Reality TV for the Manning Saga

America has an insatiable appetite for two things: football and reality TV. Both inspire fans to think in hypothetical situations, get extremely angry when our favorite team/player loses, and waste countless hours scouring the internet for someone to tell us what we just witnessed.

The release of Peyton Manning from the Colts creates a perfect setting for a reality TV series. Manning is hands down the best actor in all of pro sports. Colts owner Jim Irsay is an eccentric super-tweeter. The city of Indianapolis is suffering a football hangover after being the site of a Super Bowl victory for the other Manning, Eli. And Andrew Luck, the Stanford QB that could be the savior of Indiana football.

Listen up Hollywood. Here is how you could make some money off of the Manning situation.

Meeting Up with the Mannings: The Manning family vacations on the Louisiana Coast for a few weeks before the boys head to training camp. Eli shows off his new ring. Peyton gets neck massages. And Cooper is constantly on his Blackberry making equity sales for his new team, Nova Scotia Bank. Does Mom Olivia or Dad Archie break down first trying to hold this family together?


Lucas Oil Idol: The city of Indianapolis needs a pick-me-up. So, residents dreaming of the big time travel to Lucas Oil Stadium to participate in a singing contest. The winner gets Peyton’s forfeited $28 million dollar bonus. Larry Bird, Leslie Knope, and Tito Jackson are judges.

The Manager: Everybody wants Peyton Manning. Though, the former Colts QB wants to make his decision with class. Every interested General Manager travel to live in a huge mansion to try and make an impression on the star QB. Peyton chooses who can stay by handing out football helmets. Redskins owner Dan Snyder breaks down in to tears while giving Peyton a tour of FedEx Field. (I would pay to see that, actually.)

Peyton Manning- Bounty Hunter: Peyton has some time to make his decision. He has a thirst to avenge beaten up quarterbacks everywhere. He takes on the recent bounty scandal, one linebacker at a time.

The Amazing Irsay-Race: Eager to get Colts’ fans minds off of the miserable season, owner Jim Irsay sponsors a million dollar race across Indiana for 10 teams. The catch is that the directions are fed only through Jim Irsay’s Twitter account. Notable Indianans Jim Gaffigan, Jenna Fischer, and Mick Foley guest star.

[blackbirdpie url=”!/JimIrsay/status/176908754590253056″]

Flavor of Luck: Andrew Luck searches for love in the Hoosier State.

Until these shows are made, Manning watch continues.


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