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Premier League Team Previews… In Haiku

There’s something about a Haiku that just brings they bottom line to the top.   Will United hoist the trophy again?  Will Arsenal break the trophy-free streak?  Will Blackburn stay in the top flight?  How better to assess the fortunes of the twenty sides starting off the English Premier League seasons than with sixty lines of 5-7-5:

 

1. Manchester United

Hunting for twenty

Chicharito and Rooney

Twenty it shall be

 

2. Chelsea

A lock for top three

Pressure on the continent

Need champions league run

 

3. Liverpool

Still reeling from 6th

Can money buy happiness?

Buys champions league spot

 

4. Manchester City

Away goes Tevez?

Well replaced by Aguero

Yet still not on top

 

5. Arsenal

Six trophy free years

Stop second half fade or else

Farewell to Arsene

 

6. Tottenham

Disappointing fifth

Firedel is the big transfer?

Fifth starts to look good

 

7. Everton

Can they win in August?

Must for a premier league shot

Unlikely they will

 

8. West Brom

What can Hodgson do?

A lot with Odemwingie

Solid top ten team

 

9. Sunderland

Late season collapse

Bent took their mojo with him

Best case Europa

 

10. Fulham

Draws, draws, draws and draws

Will Jol turn them into wins?

Yes… in Europa

 

11. Bolton

Top ten is in sight

Need to go forward shopping

Else where’s all the goals?

 

12. QPR

Championship champs

Relegation unlikely

Adel gets them 12th

 

13. Wolves

3rd year in top flight

Getting comfortable there

Rising to mid table

 

14. Aston Villa

Can Bent do it all?

Hard to imagine he can

Relegation fight

 

15. Norwich City

Back-to-back promos

Long stay in the Premiership?

Paul Lambert says yes

 

16. Stoke

Nice FA cup run

Yet still can’t win on the road

FA cup repeat

 

17. Newcastle

Mid-table last year

Europe or bust for Pardew

Expecting ‘or bust’

 

18. Swansea

Playoff promoted

Premier league taste for Wales

Championship bound

 

19. Blackburn

Defense looking weak

Offense looking weaker still

A long year ahead

 

20. Wigan

Bye bye N’Zogbia

Relegation fight again

No escape this time

 

And there you have it, everything you need to know to nail your Premier League predictions for 2011/12.  Enjoy the season!