Sports

The NBA’s All-Anonymous Team

Here’s the starting lineup for the NBA’s All-Anonymous team — guys with forgettable names, even if they are actually pretty good at basketball.

Point Guard: George Hill, San Antonio Spurs
Hill’s been a lot more interesting than his name might suggest. He averages over 11 points per game in less than 30 minutes per night. And he made the Greg Oden mistake of taking nude photos of himself, which of course made their way onto the Internet.

Shooting Guard: Bill Walker, New York Knicks
Mr. Walker only averaged about 11 minutes per game for the Knicks this season, but, he’s up to 25 minutes per game during the playoffs, and he’s raised his profile with some chippy plays against his former team, the Celtics. Unfortunately, Walker’s stats during the series have been about as forgettable as his name.

Small Forward: Paul George, Indiana Pacers
The rookie out of Fresno State is growing up before our eyes. He went 1 for 9 from the field in Game 3 against the Bulls, but he played tough defense and filled up the box score with 12 rebounds, 2 blocks, 2 steals, and 2 assists.

Power Forward: Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks
J-Smoove is the All-Anonymous Team’s captain. An unbelievable athlete, Smith hasn’t become a superstar, but he can dominate a game on both ends of the floor. He can also cripple his team with bad decisionmaking (especially long jumpers and turnovers) and a poor attitude.

Center: Chuck Hayes, Houston Rockets
This undersized 6’6″ center is the darling of the advanced stats crew, so it’s no surprise he plays for Daryl Morey’s Rockets. He’s a superb defender, and does all the little things to help his team win.

Sixth Man: Mike Miller, Miami Heat
Brought in to stretch defenses and complement the Heat’s Big Three, Miller hasn’t fit in as well as some expected — so far. The journeyman certainly fits on the All-Anonymous Team, though. His name provides a nice dose of instant forgettability off the bench.