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The Morning Cheat Sheet (4/14/11)

“The Morning Cheat Sheet” is designed for those who may not eat, drink, or breathe sports on a regular basis. Cosby Sweaters delivers the essential bite-sized talking points you can use throughout the day to sound like an expert. When your significant other, coworkers, boss, kids, or the mailman dive into sports related conversation, simply recall and regurgitate “The Morning Cheat Sheet” and watch them nod their head in agreement (or spit out their coffee). Take that sports nerds.

1) Barry Busted, Kind Of – You may recall that Barry Bonds was accused of taking steroids almost a decade ago in order so he could be more lazy but hit the ball much further. Well, he has been on trial recently to see if he lied to a grand jury during an investigation as to whether or not he actually took steroids (he claimed he never took them). The trial ended and he was found guilty of obstruction of justice Wednesday for giving an evasive answer under oath more than seven years ago, but nothing else. A complete waste of taxpayers money and nothing came out of it. So, if you were to say the following it would be taken well: “That is B.S. about Barry Bands, he should be locked up for lying… Of course he took ‘roids.”

2) Every Rose Has Its Thorn – The ‘outfits’ that basketball players wear are highlighted by their jerseys. A recent study just showed that Lebron James had the top-selling jersey in the NBA this season, moving past Kobe Bryant to claim the No. 1 spot. Rajon Rondo (Boston Celtics) is third, Amare Stoudemire (The NY Knicks) is 4th and Derrick Rose (Chicago Bulls) is fifth. It would not be bad for you to blurt out today: “WTF?!?! How can Derrick Rose only be the 5th best selling jersey this year, he is going to win the MVP? *long sigh*.

3) The Final Four of Soccer – One of the biggest tournaments in Soccer is called the Champions League tournament (played in Europe). There are only 4 teams left in it as of yesterday: Manchester United (VERY well known, Beckham used to play here), Real Madrid (they have Ronaldo who never has his shirt on), Schalke, and Barcelona (Lionel Messi plays for them, Best in world some say). This is a VERY big deal over the pond. When referencing this Champions League tournament feel free to say: “What the hell is Schalke doing in the last four of the Champions League? Talk about not fitting in!