4:10 AM. Time to get shit started. Working off of three hours of sleep. That’s way more than I’m used to. Pick up the chicks in the Tahoe, none of ‘em got clothes. Too early for that. We build the rest of our entourage—Trick Pony Productions. Goodbye California, hello Nevada. Las Vegas, Nevada. Stop, rewind that. Hello Barstow. If you don’t know Barstow, you don’t know. Pitstop. Barstow is home of the best Del Taco. You can’t debate that…try me.  The dash reads 8:00 AM and 36 degrees below freezing. Freezing for me is 70 degrees. Refuel with oversized tostadas and enough beef to make you forget about Game and 50.

Fast forward to Henderson, Nevada. Fast forward past Henderson, Nevada. It’s 10:20 AM—time to scout the strip for talent. Just a few wandering slobs trying to figure out why their ATM cards won’t work and I contemplate why the Bellagio fountain isn’t on. I thought this was the city that doesn’t sleep. We have a house for the weekend. Pull into the driveway, owner is satan. We decide to find someplace else…over Mexican food and beers. We make a call. Now we’re on the top floor overlooking the strip. CES begins. Check the clip.

  • married 13 yrs

    You seem like a ton of fun. Looks like you’re looking for excuses.

    • I’m a complete pain in the ass to be married to. Work in progress. Just expressing what I think some other couples might experience.

  • Jeremiah

    All a crock of shit. Quit giving poeple excuses. If we were all Channing Tatum there would be no time for anything else and you k ow it.

  • Rich

    My wife runs her own busy while taking care of our 9 mo old son. She’s all over the place with our crazy 4 yr old son. Cooks and cleans the house for the 3 guys in her life. She is absolutely amazing. I just told her last night that I know I’m lucky. And we have a very passionate sex life, but I guess that’s because we are crazy in love with each other. Thank you for your article, it really shows me how amazing she is.

    • I’m glad to hear that Rich, it does take creativity to keep the romance alive, and good to hear that you and your wife keep that priority. I’m currently working on my next blog post entitled, “11 Ways to Apologize to Your Husband After Writing an Article Entitled, “11 Reasons Married Women With Children Say ‘No'”. I definitely wrote this article to give other couples insight or something to take away from it, but I’ve taken something away in the process as well.

  • A couple other things just to throw out there is that everyone will have their own range of ‘drive’. In addition, the books ‘Driven to Distraction’ and ‘Delivered from Distraction’ touch upon sex and ADD/ADHD which might influence sex (either making the sensory of it something ‘addictive’ or on the other end having trouble ‘lingering’). More excuses…I know.

  • I have started a petition and would appreciate it if you could pass this on to any and everybody you know. I would appreciate you signature as well. I am not trying to abuse your connections I promise. I am just reaching out to all of the people I know who understand my viewpoint!

    Subject: Baby Changing Station in ALL Men’s Restaurant Bathrooms


    As a father of 3 children, I cannot tell you the frustration I have come across when I enter a men’s restroom in a restaurant, and find NO baby changing station. All men’s restrooms in restaurants NEED a changing station.

    That’s why I created a petition to The Illinois State House, The Illinois State Senate, Governor Pat Quinn, The United States House of Representatives, The United States Senate, and President Barack Obama, which says:

    “Every restaurant should be required to have a baby changing station in the men’s restroom.”

    Will you sign this petition? copy and paste link below:



    • It looks like the link might have been moved? I would definitely sign this, I agree wholeheartedly with your stance. I also note that the changing tables should be put at a height that is accessible to short statured (once I had to go on my tiptoes to change a diaper).

  • lost out once already

    This blog is incredibly sad. After my marriage failed, I realized so many things I had done wrong as a husband and how I had heard excuse after excuse regarding “no.”. Realize, every time she says No, he feels inadequate, unloved and useless. He has a role in making her feel sexy, but all those excuses make him feel like garbage. The biggest question is this: was your sex life better before marriage, because if it was, he will feel duped. If you wait until the kids are gone or the stress is gone, it won’t ever happen. I suggest a counselor.