Some of you may remember this post we had up in September. For those of you who don’t, this is very topical once again as Facebook released their update for Blackberry which finally included the “Places” feature. Here is your refresher on how to rob your “friends” using FB.
For years I’ve always said location-based services will be the next big thing. You’ve got Foursquare, Gowalla, Loopt, and others. It wasn’t until Zuckerberg’s knack for ripping off other peoples’ ideas did he decide to create Places and bring it to the masses on Facebook. Places not only let’s your “friends” tell you where they are, but let’s you know where they aren’t! (I use the term “friends” loosely because I wouldn’t say hi to half of mine if one happened to sit next to me on a 5 hour flight to New York. Probably a bad example because they’re most likely riding coach.) And here lies the opportunity!
What you’ll need:
- A phone or computer
- A Facebook account
- Buy a set of Bump Keys
- A friend’s car
- A wig
Step 1) Use the Facebook iPhone App or go to touch.facebook.com on your mobile phone or computer (your browser must be capable of reading HTML 5)
Step 2) Click on the Places icon on your phone or the link on the site
Step 3) Choose someone from the list that you know where actually they live
Step 4) Compare where they currently are “checked-in” to where they actually live
Step 5) Take the Distance (D) between the two points and divide that by the amount of Time (T) it takes you to get to their place. This will give you the Rate (R) you will have to do their dishes before they get home
Step 6) Borrow your friend’s car or bicycle
Step 6a) OPTIONAL: Pull into a random parking lot of a store or restaurant and “check-in” using Facebook Places on your ride over. This will be your alibi.
Step 7) Put on your wig
Step 8) Continue on leisurely drive to your “friends” dwelling (ride slow homie)
Step 9) Use your set of Bump Keys to get inside
Step 10) Do their dishes (don’t forget to use the rubber gloves!)
Step 11) Go back to wherever you live and feel guilty for doing someone’s dishes without them knowing
Final Thoughts: This also works great when you see a “friend” having recently taken and posted mobile photos somewhere far from where they actually live. This can give you a little more comfort knowing that they won’t be back for awhile. You can clean up their entire place! Actually forget Steps 1-4 above and read any “Friends” status update. People only talk about where they are or where they’re going because the only other thing they do is sit in front of Facebook.