Media, Sports, Tech

BCS Rankings… as Decided by Google Images

While you wait for the weekly BCS rankings to come out we decided to get focused on the real goal of the BCS, the best possible matchup.  While the current rankings claim to generate the best on-field matchup [insert hours long rant about what a sham this all is] at Cosby Sweaters we felt time needed to be devoted to the far more important matchup in the stands.  That’s right, which two sets of fans are going to look the best in those Glendale crowd shots.

Now, the only fair way to settle this is with a totally impartial search of Google images for the teams currently sitting in the top-10.  In every case the search was done with school name plus fans, for example “auburn fans” and the top row of results reviewed.  With no further preamble, here are your top-10.

#10 TCU – Don’t start ranting about how unfair the BCS is to non-AQ schools, this one is all on TCU.  Inviting TCU would not only be questionable from a football standpoint but would run a significant risk they would set the stadium on fire and/or fill it with stuffed animals.  The ‘T’ in TCU is for Texas, a state packed with hot, football loving women making this performance all the more disappointing.

TCU_cosbysweaters

#9 Nebraska – If your idea of a great crowd is a bunch of middle aged fat dudes in goofy hats you can enjoy your next trip to Lincoln but don’t subject the rest of us to it.

Nebraska_cosbysweaters

#8 Boise State – Apparently inviting Boise State to the biggest college football party of the year would just turn it into Vegas without the ladies.  Drunk frat guys, bad Elvis impersonators and assholes getting knocked out.  Looks great on The Real World but just not good enough for Glendale.

#7 Alabama – In the stands as on the field this is a story of a team searching for an identity.   Sure, there’s plenty of beer to be had and you may get a glance at a woman who half t-shirt could change your life, but it’s every bit as likely you wind up celebrating a Mark Ingram TD with a body paint rubdown from her great aunt.  Too inconsistent to challenge for the title.

Alabama_cosbysweaters

#6 Oregon – This Oregon fan base is everything you would expect coming out of the famously rocking Autzen stadium.  A unified group that dresses flashy and brings passion for the full 60 minutes.  Unfortunately if we want to see 60 minutes of dudes fired up about football we can watch the field, this sausage fest has no business ruining the TV broadcast with their lack of trim.

Oregon_cosbysweaters

#5 Auburn – So much potential here but something wasn’t quite right.   The bookends of the images have a ton of promise but this group there is no one giving a Cam Newton type performance to push them over the top.

Auburn_cosbysweaters

#4 Ohio State – What?  The image with the naked dude makes the top-4?  How is that possible?  It’s possible because if you look closely the image is actually of a guy in a Michigan frat house.  Combine endless tramp-stamped coeds offering the rear door with fans who will do anything to embarrass the other team and you have championship potential.

OSU_cosbysweaters

#3 Brazil – The only thing keeping Brazil out of the title game is that they play futbol not football.   Sexy, barely dressed women who aren’t afraid of a wardrobe malfunction.  Hell, even the gay football fans get something from this group.  It’s really no more ridiculous than the BCS is to begin with so why not do the world a favor and don’t make us wait for the next World Cup to unleash this Latin fury.

Brazil_cosbysweaters

#2 Wisconsin – The Badgers appeared to have their own body paint snafu in the works but a closer look reveals that those are Packers fans and, as such, disqualified from collegiate competition.  The images are too small to be certain but it seems safe to assume from the first two that everyone in the stadium shots is a hot, Midwestern blonde.  Yes please!

Wisconsin_cosbysweaters

#1 LSU – Talent at the top and depth throughout, the Bayou Bengals have to be the favorite in this one.  Their warm weather experience and willingness to skimp on the clothes pushes them over the top to our #1 spot.

LSU_cosbysweaters

The logic is irrefutable. You can see good football games all year, let’s make sure we see the best looking fans in Glendale.  The season isn’t over yet so the true fans will get the cameras out, the ladies fired up, and make this thing happen.