Liberals Win the Nov 1st election!

by Scotty Thurman
in Culture · Sports
— 2 Nov, 2010

Lets face it. This World Series represented two fan bases and two cities at opposite ends of the spectrum. Its more polarizing than any two candidates in an election. On one hand, you’ve got the conservative, right-wing Texas Rangers and their down-home good-ol boy fanbase. On the other hand you’ve got the bearded hipsters in San Francisco, the face of liberal America. If you haven’t noticed this parallel already you are blind. Lets do some comparisons:

The Cities:

San Francisco – Its the home of Jerry Garcia, free love, gay marriage (for a bit), recreational drug use and the highest concentration of advertising honks in America.

Dallas – Home of Jessica Simpson, chain restaurants, homes with huge yards and 100% humidity.

Pitching Aces:

San Francisco – Laid back, weed-toking, Mitch Kramer lookalike Tim Lincecum. The guy rolls to games in his Armani Exchange v-neck, slacks and flip flops while walking his french bulldog across the field to the locker room.

Texas – Straight-laced, duck hunting, southern boy Cliff Lee. There’s a 99% chance this guy has never put the keys into any type of vehicle other than a pick-up. Probably a dually.

Fans of emphasis:

San Francisco – Other than the Marissa Miller sighting, the cameras have been all over Steve Perry. The Marin native has been swinging his hat, looking strung out as ever, while leading the buzzed-out SF crowd to some of his biggest hits while he was leading off for Journey.

Texas – The Bush family. George Sr., Dubya, Barbara and Laura. All of them lined up behind the first base line, strategically placed so the camera picks them up in their red, white and blue each time it cuts to the on deck circle.

Team Colors:

San Francisco – Black – represents darkness, jagermeister. Orange – the color of insanity, according to Van Gough. That fool lopped off his ear, he’s definitely a liberal. Only other team using this combo is the Orioles. Its different.

Texas – Red, white and blue. Represent good ‘ol ‘merica, and wal-mart. Also the most common color combo used in the MLB, very safe play.

What is probably most telling is the differences in the fan bases.

Texas fans are constant. They’ve always been there, they’ve always cared. This is because there is nothing else to do down there. Their stadium looks like it has a giant 4 story strip mall in the outfield, but its just an illusion – its built in the middle of nowhwere. Baseball games are an all-day affair for Texans. Get up, milk the cows, drink some tea, grab some ribs and drive to the game. Its an afterthought for San Franciscans. They catch the Muni after a long day of presenting “decks” and drinking green tea. Texas fans are hard to root against, because they aren’t fickle, they really do care. Its fun to make fun of them, but you respect them. Its like the kid in grade school who had the really old looking, callused hands. You made fun of him, but you respected him. Texans will do it forever. They aren’t going anywhere. They’re satisfied with the status quo. They’re comfortable to stay put. They’re conservative.

San Francisco is a city of transient people. People who live their lives one quick high at a time. They hate commitment, they love trends. They seek change – and they love a good party. The 2010 World Series win is the biggest party for them since 2008, almost 2 years to the day. They love a good bandwagon almost as much as a funny youtube clip. Its almost impossible for them to care all the time though, they know they won’t be around forever, or they’ll just pump their chests when their hometown teams start wining again. Its hard to look at San Francisco fans and take them seriously. Not because they look different, but because you know they probably don’t know shit about their team past the previous 5 games. You could sit down 90% of the fans in the Ballpark in Arlington, quiz them about the days when Nolan Ryan was smashing in Robin Ventura’s dome with his fist, and they could talk your ear off. However, San Francisco fans know how to have a good time. They’ll push the envelope and get the party started. They’ll get weird. They’re liberal.