Media, Sports

The “Jessica Simpson Curse” Cripples The Bears…

Let me give you a little background…

For those of you not in the know, Tony Romo is the Dallas Cowboys QB.  Jessica Simpson USED to be a good-looking, talentless singer/lame actress.   With Dallas was in the middle of a hard-fought playoff hunt, Romo began to be seen in public with Jessica Simpson.   This is fine, no harm no foul.  HOWEVER, as soon as their dating became public, shit started to go downhill quickly for Romo, and in turn for the Cowboys.  She even watched one game (a loss) from the owner’s box, while wearing a super trampy/ugly Cowboys replica jersey with Romo’s number.  Dallas lost the game, and continued to play horribly.  As their relationship progressed, the Cowboys and Romo played worse.  She became “Yoko Romo” essentially.  Hence the “Jessica Simpson Curse.”

Jessica Simpson and Romo

Now, onto present day and Jay “Golden Boy” Cutler and his curse;

As an avid Bears fan I was in heaven 2 years ago when the Golden Boy was heading our way from Denver.  The Bears had not had a decent QB in over 20 years.  This WAS the answer, all the pieces were in place.  Until this little thorn in the Windy City’s side reared her ugly ass head.  Cavallari/ CutlerApparently Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler started dating in Aug. 2010, HOWEVER Cosby Sweaters has some info which actually shows that Jay and Kristen were dating last season as well, even though they kept it quiet.    Now, lets be honest; Jay didn’t exactly have a “stellar” last year. 26 TD’s and 27 interceptions…. Maybe spending a bit too much time hiding your relationship?  The curse was hitting before folks realized it.

All of a sudden in Aug 2010, tabloids started to photo the 2 together and started saying things were getting hot and heavy; essentially the Bears were now fu*ked.  The Huffington Post even reported earlier this year; “Things are going well for Jay Cutler. His team is 2-0, and he is leading the NFL with a quarterback rating of 120.2 PLUS his-much-gossiped-about relationship with reality TV star Kristin Cavallari.”  Really, all is well?!?!!?

As soon as this relationship took off in the public’s eyes, Jay Cutler and the Bears began their decline.

-The Bears have lost 3 out of their last 5

– Cutler was sacked 9 times in one half

-Cutler missed a game with a concussion

-Cutler has thrown 2 TD’s and 6 f-in interceptions.

-His Passer ratings for the past 4 games he has played in; 82.5, 40.7, 69.4, and 54.3

Understanding that Kristin may actually be a bad thing for the Golden Boy, he must be thinking of ways to get rid of her, right?

NO!   As if to rub it in Bears’ fans faces, after throwing 4 pics (to the same f-in defender) Jay Cutler coped with the awful Redskins loss how?  By studying game tape?  By staying late at the gym?  By running wind sprints?  NOPE!  He f-in spent his Monday evening carving pumpkins with girlfriend Kristin Cavallari.  According to her Twitter page, K-Cav and J-Cut created these amazing Jack-o-lanterns.  Really?  So maybe on Tuesday he spent all night studying game tape, hitting the gym, and preparing for his next opponent.  NOPE!  According to the Chicago Times Blog;  “Jay Cutler and his girlfriend, Kristen Cavallari, were spotted at “The Lion King” on Tuesday in the Cadillac Palace Theatre.”

On behalf of the city of Chicago, Cosby Sweaters, Bears fans, and fans of football in general I’d like to say the following to Kristin Cavallari, as yes this is ALL YOUR FAULT!