Trending

Children’s Books That Got “Put on the Shelf”

Lindsay-Lohan-Children-s-Book--39830

Twitter was on fire last night with “Sad Children Stories” which never made it off of the cutting room floor. I decided to gather a few of the titles for your viewing pleasure.  There is a possibility that I added a few of Cosby Sweater’s own original books.  Feel free to comment below with more!

  • FDR and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day… When He Got Polio
  • The JUNGLE Fever Book
  • The Littlest Crack Whore
  • The Concrete Jungle Book
  • Mr. Magorium’s Rape Whistle Emporium
  • Charlotte’s Web of Lies
  • Clifford the Big Red Dog the Final Chapter: Euthanasia
  • How to Chase your Dragon (Heroin)
  • Oh The Places You’ll Go..To Hell..To Prison
  • Jack and the Bean Stalker
  • Oh, The Places You’ll Never Get To Go, Because You’ll Be Living Your Life Paycheck to Paycheck
  • Horton Kills the Who
  • James and the Giant Penis
  • Snow White and the Seventh Divorce
  • Pedo Pan
  • James and the Giant Tumor
  • Everybody poops when they die
  • “The Pokey Little Puppy and the Really Fast Car”
  • Winnie the Pimp
  • Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Microwave
  • The STD giving tree
  • Goldilocks and the three bears who are potentially her father
  • The Cat in the Hat Has Feline AIDS
  • Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop. (I didn’t even change that title)
  • Sarah, Large and Diabetic
  • Babar the Elephant and the Ivory Hunters
  • The Giving Tree, Is Giving HIV
  • The Bipolar Express
  • Mommy Drinks Because You Cry
  • “Wayside School Is Closing Down…because of lack of funding”
  • The Tale of Peter Rabbit’s Foot
  • No Virginia There is NO Santa Claus
  • Princess and The Peeping Tom
  • The Brave Little Toaster Goes to the Bathtub
  • Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Lap
  • Ali Baba and the 72 Virgins
  • All Dogs Go To the Incinerator
  • Harry Potter and the Whiskey, Revolver, and Suicide Note
  • Little Women by Ben Roethlisberger
  • Mary Poppin Pills
  • Ramona; has lupus
  • Bi-Curious George
  • The Lion, Christine O’Donnell, and the wardrobe
  • Clifford the Big Black Inmate
  • The Littlest Prostitute
  • Nobody Poops but You
  • The Bernstein Bears And The Taxidermist
  • The Little Nigerian Prince – (“Draw me a check!” )
  • Are You There God? It’s Me, Nietzsche
  • The Emperor’s New Leather Clothes
  • Bambi
  • Dead Yeller
  • The Velveteen Rabbit Stew
  • Jumping Off The Bridge to Terabithia
  • Amelia Bedilia Get’s Fired For Getting Every Single Instruction Wrong
  • Tom Sawher
  • “Why Puppies Don’t Go To Heaven” by Kirk Cameron
  • The very hungry caterpillar gets bulimia
  • You Were an Accident
  • Mother Goose Is Cooked